Lori

Topics: Substance Abuse/Drinking and Driving

"My mom was the one constant in my life, though I was still very close with my dad and brothers.  I became best friends with a girl named Jade when I was 13.  She became a part of my family and my mom used to tell her she was like a second daughter.  When I was 17, a drunk driver killed my mother. Ultimately it brought my bothers, dad and I so much closer together. We learned the hard way what it feels like to lose a loved one and we made it our goal to appreciate each other while we are still alive. After that, life was depressing for quite some time.  I slept a lot, did poorly in school and dated men that were bad for me.  Then at 22, Jade made the decision to drink and drive resulting in her death. What was really strange was that I had a lot of friends who continued to drink and drive.  It was hard, because they knew about what had happened to my mom and Jade but they still made the choice to drink and drive. 

What angers me the most is that my best friend, the one who should have learned the lesson from when my mom died, didn’t learn anything at all. I was left to once again deal with the death of a person I loved and cared about.  I was feeling so many emotions, anger being one of them. It was simply too soon for either of them to be taken.  For the longest time I was terrified whenever the phone rang because I was worried about receiving more bad news. It is still very hard for me to let people in and for me to open myself up completely because of the fear of losing someone else.

After their deaths I focused a lot on my relationships with family and friends.  I learned to rely on them a lot more than I use to.  I did attend some counseling through a private psychologist and then again at my college.  They both helped but I focused a lot on making my mom proud and doing the things she would want for my life.  I also kept busy a lot.  This allowed me to deal with the death at a slower pace instead of letting myself become consumed with it.  I have moved on with my life, and I do think my mom would be proud. Recently I just finished law school and passed the bar.  My goal is to use what I have learned and experienced to influence people’s lives in a positive way."