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Patrick

Topics: Substance Abuse,  Alcohol Abuse/Binge Drinking

“My life is completely and entirely different. As a result of my experience, I have grown up and developed a life that I wouldn’t trade for anything. I began smoking weed in 6th grade to cope with a death in the family. By 9th grade I began experimenting with pain killers and alcohol. In 10th grade I started using cocaine and by 11th grade I tried Meth for the first time and I was hooked. The consequences I faced as a result of my addiction are endless. I destroyed the bond I had with my own family. It has taken me over two years to piece together the relationship between myself and my family. I put myself in terrifying situations and my body began to deteriorate. My recovery has been a long process. My parents supported me in going to a treatment center for sixty days in Montana. I was introduced to the twelve step program. I also spent six months at a halfway house. One strategy for recovery I learned was I can’t stay clean on my own. I need to surround myself with people from A.A. and people who love and support me.”

 

*A Letter to My Ex-Best Friend*
 
I was alone
Till you came around
Out of the shadows
You came into town
 
You lifted me up
Made me feel special
Showed me true love and brought rest to my mind.
 
Today was a good day but now its behind
I awake, I’m lonely
No one is around
Where are you now my only?
 
Nowhere to be found
I’m on a search for you
But you’re not looking for me
I’m shook in my knees
I’m lookin’ babe, please
 
Aha! I found you!
 
Now I’m fine
Relax my mind Sit back, unwind
Stare to the sky
Flare and I cry
Why? - I don’t know, I’m fine
 
Tomorrow will be a brighter day, right?
Forget it, goodnight
I awake, I’m enraged
I don’t know why
 
Once again, my "friend" is nowhere in sight
I miss you - I want you, I love you, I know you
No, I hate you - despise you and loathe you
 
But you’re what I need
You I must seize
But at the same time you are makin’ it hard for me to breathe
But I don’t need to - Find more ends and loose more friends to once again meet you
 
I need hope - love
Not drugs that deceit you
I can defeat you
You'll always be my ex-best friend
 
But my happiness now replaces you in the end
And never again - Will I let you in
We can win
Yes, "We"
 
I’m not alone
I found my safe place, Sobriety’s own, Sobriety's home
If I leave that place, then I lose these dreams
And without dreams, what does life even mean?
 
I find happiness in friends that help me accomplish my goals
When with you, all my dreams, all ended up stolen
My lungs are not black
My heart is now golden
 
I am my dreams - sober - see and behold them
Goodbye - Dear old friend
You'll always be in the back of my mind
 
But I don’t need you, I did defeat you
I’m sober and Fine
So I reach for the sky
I scream, “I'm alive!”
 
Tears stream from my eyes
No more sneaks, defeats, self hatred, and lies
Euphoria was a fraud and I don’t need that now
I'm alive, sober, and happy - Beat that "pal"